Week 1 of the 43rd year of IFL had was a hard fought battle fought with bits. Bits welded by Goths, Yuppies and the elderly who try to keep trim by walking indoors.

During free agency at the top of the show, The Highland Mall Walkers and their supporters outbid the Greenbelt Gentrifieds and 66Sixth Street for the services of improv veteran and  Your Terrific Neighbors ensemble member, Curtis Luciani. The second deepest set of pockets belonged to the sullen cast of 66Sixth Street (and their parents), who successfully bid for the services of improv veteran/beagle mix Robin Goodfellow. Though the Greenbelt Gentrifieds added to their bid with a cold bottle of Shiner, too much of their liquid cash had been spent on sub-zero refrigerators and hybrid vehicles in their up-and-coming neighborhood, so they were saddled with mystery guest/Improv Royale cast member/former professional wrestler, Psycho Billy.

Most of the rest of the events are a blur, an orgy of hilarity and crushed watermelons. At night’s end, the Highland Mall Walkers prevailed thanks to some two votes for $5 vote-buying chicanery. The Highland Mall Walkers move onto the championship on August 27th.

Get tickets for week three here.